DEAR MOM

These words are mere alphabets of a language if they don’t ever mention you as an element of my thoughts. I have always been a part of you, deep down to the flesh and bones. Even the blood that flows in my veins were never my own but inherited from you. The heart that resides in this alive body had begun its first beat within your walls of affection and care. You gave me home to dwell, you gave me life to live, you gave me breaths to survive and asked for nothing in return.

You are magic and I marvel at your soul of which I am a puny part. I triumph in the joy of being like you, partially if not completely. I am nothing but your shadow. I take you along with me, wherever I go.

Keep me close to your heart whose rhythm is music to my life. Your warmth is the peace to my rippled soul. Your arms are condolences to my scars.

I pray, wish and hope selflessly and desperately for your well being and happiness. It is what matters and nothing else will, so strongly and so sincerely to me because I had begun from you and my world ends at you. Outside the covers of your veil is a combination of two words- fake and fraud. You are the only truth and only you are real. Rest is translucent, blurred and surreal. Purity is you second name

DEAR MOM.

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face

The Secret

                                                                                                                                                                       

Believe

This piece of work is dedicated to one of my dear friends. To add on, this isn’t something about you, but something for you. Believe me, you’ll like it. J

When the most hopeful loses all his hope, when the dry leaves of autumn, shed unceasingly, warning about the coming cold winter, you know it is going to be tough endlessly. The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t visible at all. Feathers of your spirit seem falling one by one. The faith that you held inside is flickering like a candle that has just reached its dead end. The winds are retarding you, pushing you to turn back and be gone. The rains are drenching you, flooding your heart with grief that you feel and it shows, yes! On your face, behind those swollen eyes that have tried many a times to stop from getting watery. The last lie you told to someone, twisting the words, to just comfort their curiosity.

You are tired now, tired of waiting to get out of this storm, which seems to bind you in chains of self disappointments . Time and again you see your hope collapsing like a castle of playing cards, by the slightest of winds. Drowning time and again in the vessels of your own trials and errors, what kind of struggle is this, you ask yourself, feeling bitter with every crash of your hopes and aspirations.

Blindfolded you are from the success whose shadows you touch and it swirls away. You are in a game and you desperately want to win like many others though holding the torch of hope with every try is a pain rather than positivity. You are exhausted and drained out of your own strengths.

                                                                                                                            The hope is dead.

Look up!    

Now that the hope is dead, there is nothing to be scared of, to grieve for, and to be dreaded from.

Get up! Not because you are deluded with the faintest of light at the end of the tunnel or a leaf that you still see green. Don’t see the light of the candle as a ray of the morning sun. Don’t get duped in your own imagination of how hope would bloom out from somewhere.  Don’t drown in your own spirit that rises and falls like a mercury, don’t let it be circumstantial.

The word to be preached is not hope but belief. Hope is disguising you from something you can’t see far beyond. Hope is killing you inside with every blow of fate that lands hard enough to shake your grounds. Hope makes you think like an incomplete puzzle and that you will get a missing piece of yourself, somewhere out there. Hope is making you weak.

So throw that old rusty four letter word into trash and hit a six with ‘Belief’!

        Believe in the person you see in mirror every morning. Believe in the abilities that make you armed with confidence. Believe in the achievements, that you and only you made possible, which even in the wildest of your dreams you never thought would happen. Believe in the miracles you did and made people proud and some even jealous and envious! Believe that you are not just someone in the crowd, but someone without whom some things would be as dull as a grey sky. Believe in the sunshine inside you that gets fueled by the fire which never died away even when the worst of winters, floods or tornadoes came by.

      If then why not now?     … Believe in yourself and things will turn upside down, no matter how impossible it seems. Embrace yourself, believe in your abilities and most importantly in the spirit within you and witness a prodigy, resulting out of your sweat and struggles.

…And don’t forget to buckle up yourself, for the times when the sun outside shines just for you, the night dances with your laughs, the success that you chased would come all the way to become your own shadow. ;)

           

                                                                                                                                                       

       Thesaurus:

 retarding- slowing down;     deluded-made a fool of/ cheated;   prodigy: a wondrous, unbelievable act;

embrace- hold in your arms;    envious-jealous

Intangible Dreams

         The darkness pats me to sleep

     The silence sings lullabies

     The breeze blows a chill as

      It moves my cradle and flees

      But I, the Child of Thoughts

      Run down the pitch black night

      Into the mighty world

      Behind my closed eyes

      Of sudden flood of things

      That gallop in my head

      I open up-to real

      Still laying in my bed

      Then I look out of window

      At the only source of light

      In the sky like a picturesque painting

      It hung deep in my sight

      I wished, to touch it

      Feel it with my mind

      I longed, to behold it

      For the rest of my life

      The stars gave away

      Their glitter in its shimmer

      Those twinkles that I could spot

      Broke themselves in a nightmare

      Thus unreachable, intangible

       I faced towards reality

      And went to sleep again

          To live my dreams apparently

REALITY Check..!

Each of you reading this article now, I am sure, must have faced one or the other troubles of life, raw and rich in pain, anguish, anger, hopelessness, dejection, misery, gloominess and all the negative it has to offer. Each of you had to go through certain hardships whose depths and degrees are known no-one but you. The failures and fallacy that had dawned upon you must have had churned your confidence and crushed your beliefs. You slowly remember what I am talking about, don’t you? You can relate it all to that bad time that had crossed your way sometime or may be is the biggest rock in your path right now.

Life is not a bed of roses. Well I would say it is a bed of roses, unless you accept that the thorns are actually a part of the damn flower. In order to reach the sweet honey, few stings from the bumble bee are unavoidable! Now you would say look! She is all muttering some silly quotes to cheer me up! Aye! You may say that. That is the part of every nonsense but necessary talk that someone does to cheer up your mood and take you out of your despair. So I began the usual way.

Troubles! Cherish them! Not for the pain and the agony they have to offer but for the gift of experience that they deliver unknowingly. When a child starts to walk, or let us say when You started walking, you must have fallen innumerable times. You must have collided with the door and dropped on your butt! You must have slipped and landed on your head! (Believe me people still fall even after learning how to walk!)  Now look at you! Can you walk?  Why? Because when you were young and you wanted that small white car lying far from you, too far to crawl and discomfort you knees, your mind thought of an alternative…walk! So you tried to lift yourself, on all fours first, took your mommy’s support or may be assistance nearby, wobbled at first, may be fell again, but walked over and grabbed that piece of toy.    

   

Moral of your story? You got what you dearly wanted.

This is when you reach the toy. Then there is another counter case where you don’t reach the toy, you try hard but it seems to get out of the hand, rolling over farther under the sofa, as you try to touch and grab it. Even after trying your best, you fail. What you did then? Cry! Sadness, anguish and despair played around you. Did you give up then? No! You told your mom to help you out. She put the broom stick under it and pushed the toy out from the other end. Next time same thing happened as your red ball rolled in. Did you cry again? Did you ask for help? No! You brought the broomstick and tried to get the ball on your own. And this time you got it.

You knew if you used your hand the ball would have gotten off the grip and moved further, so you didn't repeat your mistake, may be not the same mistake again. Something similar goes on when you are all grown up. The difference is that the white car is replaced by a girlfriend/boyfriend or that red ball is replaced by a job. The urge to get what you want, the emotions linked with not getting it is all the same though more intense.

                                        
                                            

Being steady is not a mechanism here in this world. The time keeps on changing with every tick of its needles. Change is inevitable and the wheels are in motion all the time. Right now as you read this, things are changing drastically behind you, around you, inside you, everywhere. This time which now seems black like a dark night is simply changing its shades from violet to indigo to blue to green and to the blooming colors there forth. You may not notice what you are gaining out of it because it is still small, invisible, and puny.  It will show itself on a big picture soon. I won’t say every cloud has a silver lining. I am no philosopher or someone who has seen life from distance and deduced its mechanism. I am nobody to explain to you the mystical strategies and stipulations of life. I am an explorer, not even in the supposedly midway of my trail, and I think experience has a great role in summarizing the inference out of this long walk.

Wherever you are, on the rocks, wet in rain, or dried under sun, it is a moment toenjoy grief, because time will definitely come when you walk bare-feet over wet grass, under the shades and when you do so you will remember the rocks that took you over to these grounds and how sweet it is to taste your own sweat and get over with it. With the umbrella of experience over you, you might even prevent the rain from wetting you again or the sun to burn you up. If something is unavoidable, unpredictable and not understandable you can’t let it pass through you like a ghost, haunting you half the way. The consequence are there of course, but as far as you control your outlook towards it, it is going to hollow you like a termite to wood.

So guys and girls, enjoy the grief, embrace your emotions and make peace with yourself. The time is ticking right behind your eyes. The tide that flipped your boat has the potential to drive you to the shore (provided you know how to swim). Enjoy your surf over the gloom and the boon equally. You never know when the winds change their path and drive you through the muddle. 

The Writer

With intent to write something I open the usual MS-Word. When a blank page opens up, it stares at me as if reflecting the intellects of my mind. The dark, still and numb blankness, waits to be filled with the aroma of thoughts. Then slowly the thoughts start building up, as if flying like a flock of birds, one after another, in a row, painting the canvas beneath the cranium. Slowly it triggers a landslide, and in an instant I see myself typing. To bring about the small wonders of the big world into few words and phrases may not seem a big task. What is necessary is to grab your attention… yes yours!

A writer I am, and I seek your attention. Not to be famous or acclaimed but to be appreciated for my piece of work, my thoughts, for the least to just go through it once, whole of it at a time. I want to connect with you. A mind-to-mind, rather heart-to-heart tunnel, that beams out to you an essence of my thoughts, and in return get your attention and approval.

What not we try, to prevent your eyes, from doodling over to your phone every other second or leave the read even for a moment. Sarcasm, jokes, just-kidding truths, matter of facts or even fiction. Yet you wander off. Well if you did, come back please.

The cursor blinks again, may be thrice a second, waiting to be shifted the right way. Thinking is in the process. I look up, towards the only light source that lights up my room, bring my eyelids down, stop at some spot and blur my vision, until I cast about, inside my head, looking for the right words to pop out. Vision back to the screen, fingers jumping from key to key, I am writing again.

Meanwhile you get bored, may be, “God! When is it going to get finished? “. You ask your brain, what to do next, leave it half way and get back to checking your phone; just in-case another text just arrived.I can only hope you don’t do that. I try my best to keep you affixed.

I am a writer, never perfect and craving for it. Your reaction is my scorecard. I need you to be as still as you are while taking a picture. No don’t move, don’t shift, blink less, and keep on reading, left to right. 

You came down, thank you. I think I have got your eyeballs now. Follow me!

My world isn't a piece of cake

                                                Neither is it a cakewalk

               

                  You follow me here and if you don’t

                                                                                               

You are always free to walk

               

                               

This way please…      Thank you..

Why am i here?

Why am I here ?

Sometimes I think where I am? Why did I come into this world? To suffer Agony? Pain? Hardships?  And then to preach and believe in things, whose existence is not determined by any proof? Why a world at all? What is this place? Where there is a limit put to you with count-full breadths and finite time, where you are expected to do good and be good and finally die one day to be known to none but to the mere pages of history. Now and then I ponder upon the thought of my very own existence. From sand I come to be a part of this soil again in some decades. What is my role here? Why did I have to ever live if I am going to meet the inevitable end anyway? The superstitious self in me then arises as if victorious over the scientific fact answering my questions vaguely. 

                                

What I was fed from the beginning of my own time was the presence of the Supreme Soul, which you and I call God, Ishwar, Allah, Bhagwan and see his manifest in myriad ways. There came a point where everything unexplained went into the accounts of this belief to provide an acceptable but not fully satisfying explanation.

As I proceeded back in time, the mythologies fed in my head as the bedtime stories started joining pieces with the history making this puzzle a little less complicated. The land of Kurukshetra, the country of Lanka, the Legendry city of Dwarika, the Mountain of Kailash, the city of Ayodhya- All these dwellings give a shape to the idea very existence of the God. Yet there are missing pieces and innumerable theories to make them just a mere part of a folklore told from an era. When I see it from a distance I see two worlds, one that is logical and the other that is spiritual and here I am, bent highly to the former and seeing the other through the inherited eyes of superstition. Which one is true and which is unreal is never fully understood.

                           

                                        

I am told to join my hands and bow before someone or something that I don’t know. The Holy books claim that one can get to know ‘the God’ by taking up a spiritual path. It is further explained that to merge with the Supreme Spirit one needs to detach himself from the material world. I did not understand much though but then if I ever decide to leave my home to become a Yogi, to know what God is and why I am here, I would definitely end up getting a good scolding from my guardians. Ironically these were the same people who sowed in me the seeds of religious world of Gods and Goddesses.

                            

                                      

So what is the truth even my parents don’t know, neither theirs nor anybody’s, ‘where to look for it?’, that also remains unanswerable. So I finally return my thoughts to something that has got answers, to at least spend this time of few years that I have got as life. To dissolve my hunger and thirst, to survive like any other animal does, to do good, be good and continue the same until death brings down the curtains. To this world I return yet with an inquisition to cross the boundary and see the other side of the same coin.

Top 10 crazy things to do before you die

Top 10 crazy things to do before you die

10 crazy things to do before I breathe my last, 10 deeds of insanity to endeavor before they burn me in hell, 10 memories to make before I turn into ash, 10 wishes to fulfill before I am nothing but dust! A countdown before my finite breadths lose their count- Let me take you for a ride, on to the crazy dreams that linger somewhere waiting to be fulfilled.

My Bucket List:-

10. To be the most famous one!

Want to hear the crowd shout your name at the top of their voices? Want to be the focus of paparazzi? Want the people to run behind you to get your autograph? With every newspaper having your name printed in their copies, your snap being on the cover page of the magazines and countless followers on facebook and twitter, want to be the talk of the town?? Oh Common! who doesn’t?  Becoming famous once before I die and let the world know my existence on this planet, even in death! That is wish number 10 for me!

9. Own a pet tiger

I never got chance to have a pet. Forget a normal dog or cat, a tiger would be great for a beginning I wonder! How much i wished to own a tiger, when i saw one on the Discovery Channel, or the Animal Planet! A royal Bengal tiger strolling along with me and scaring the shit out of my neighbor and his dog! Giving the people around me goose-bumps, with the roars that come from my house, owning a pet tiger is my dream number 9.

8. Make a personal collection of luxury cars and bikes

A collection of luxury cars and bikes! Though I don’t know how to drive one but hey I need to be picked up and dropped in one! A ferrarri in morning , a jaguar in evening, a limousine at the party time and a MV-Agusta to race around. Speed at its best for me!

7. Free all the birds and animals captivated in the pet shops and zoos

The pets that wait all day and all night in the shops, just for you to come and take them home, as if they have no life of their own, to live. The parakeets, macaws, doves whose wings were made to stay aloof the ground are now caged behind those bars where in they barely fit. So this wish would grant me a freedom to free them all, to whisper to them to fly far away and never look back. To see all the roads blocked by the animals released from the zoos, parks and cages to their own forest land would be wish number 7!

 6. Declare an official holiday on my birthday for people to celebrate

Ever wished you wouldn't have to get up on your birthday and go to the office, school and college, rather call your best buddies and party all day without caring? How much you wanted every other stranger you see, to wish you? How much you wanted the world to know that you came into the world this day?! Simple! Declare an official holiday on your special day. To  let 6^th January be a National Holiday and cease the day with my presence for all to celebrate it!

5. A Wish to Fly

Want to be a superman or ironman and glide over the heads of people! To feel the same way when as a bird cutting through the winds, to have a sight of the round and infinitely expanding earth below, to breathe the cold air and drop down straight through the clouds! Sky diving before the end of it all is a must do!

4. To own a rum factory

“15 men on the dead man’s chest, Yo! Ho! Ho! And a bottle of Rum!”,If only you could get an unlimited amount of this beautiful drink and get high whenever you feel like, you better run a Rum factory, before time stops you forever. Wish number 4, To at least have a store!

3.  Make it all a fairy world

Tired of crimes, tired of the nonsense happening around in humanity! Politics and politicians! System and democracy! A name given to those who maintain law rather make law of their own. People killing people over non-materialistic things, blood and cries dripping and echoing in every corner but what if it can be happy ending ever after. A wish to change this world into a fairy tale with a happy ending, people living in peace and contentment, equality for all, love and care sprouting out from everywhere. That’s wish number 3!

 2. Watch the earth and moon from space

One of the most fascinating and only job, where you can get a top view of your home is being an astronaut, where the magnificent blue planet rotates below you and moon literally being your nearest neighbor, with stars shinning brighter than ever and one among them flaming with all might, a wish to be on the international space station is one unique among a million.

p.s -NASA please recruit me!

1.   To have the potential to make above all true

What could be worse, if this bucket list can’t be fulfilled before the end nears in and your heart shuts down, before you could even begin saving up cash and planning upon your bucket list. To have the potential and power to grab all that you wished for and not wait for it to slowly be a mere list on a piece of paper, you need to have money! Billions of it! Wish number 1.

                          ……Good Life and Good luck to all!

From the corner of my eyes

From the corner of my eyes, there passes a world, obscure and mystic

 A little confusion, of what would happen, if I look closer

Or for a little more span

A little fear, dwelling inside me, playing with it, I know would invite trouble

Yet it tingles my curiosity to look beyond that blurred image

Deep and perpetual, that’s all I can say

For once I see, rolling back my eyeballs would be in vain

Such is the strength, that’s felt though unseen

The world beyond the view of my eyes

 Waiting to be witnessed and followed ineluctably

Waiting for me to get drowned, maybe burnt, may be get vanished

It induces a sense of venomous incantation

May be paralyzing, I don’t know

It is just conscience, that prevents me, curbs me may be protects me

 I listen to it, trust it more than anything

And look the other way

My way, my world and away from trouble

That world passes now and then under my eyes
And I betray it, sadly and happily together

Fumes of Folly

It is a pleasure to hear people, telling me, to write more. It has been a real source of encouragement and fun, reaching out to your minds and hearts and winning over them indeed. So I thought upon writing something. This one is a on request from one of my dear friends, who wanted me to deliver a piece of my writing on something that is nothing new, and still has got its hold equally on people of all times. I know you can’t guess it, so let me give you some hint.

The two ‘victory’ fingers, a pair of lips and some spark. I can bet smiles on some faces that got me right.

Yet another hint for others- the taxi rule. Let me be clearer with the 3 puff rule. To those with wise heads who have dedicated worthy songs to it, to those who know how much deadly it can get, who still don’t care if it nears them to death, with every breath they draw through it, who rather find pleasure in hitting themselves right in the heads and finding life in that bit of moment- Yes this article is dedicated to all the cigarette smokers who lovingly call it Sutta or Chirot.

It is a saying that one never buys his own cig at first. There are friends, seniors, big brothers that make the first gurus, to teach the art. Talking about it as an art, lightening a cigarette is itself one as is puffing it. No matter you do it with a gas lighter or electric lighter, the matchstick always comes handy, correct me if I am wrong!

Holding the end of the cigarette butt or the fag end in between your lips, carefully, without wetting it, and letting the dry tobacco leaves catch fire, a sense of style hovers in those hands that hold it, as the leaves burn its way out into the open air.

The warm smoke is drawn in, reaching the dead end of the throat, making its way down, from the lungs into the blood stream. The nicotine, radon, propylene glycol, licorise and some other lesser known compounds all travel through the roller coaster of your blood stream. The best part comes when the ingredients reach out to the kernel i.e. the Brain. A gentle hit that is what people claim to experience and that is where the beauty seems to lie. 

Take it literally, the beauty of sutta, though promises a style statement, a hit in the head, a spin for a split second and a curtain of peace for some time, it disguises all through this time. Behind the circles of smoke, lies an irreversible damage to your lungs. The air filters in your lungs gets covered by something which you see around every day, TAR. Something made to be laid on roads doesn't seem apt upon the very source of Life. The chemicals and chemistry above, all sound lame to the regulars and so does the cancer threat.

 Never mind, you draw the second time, inhaling the smoke, sucking it through the fag end. You pull it in and release, and feel your head spin. Before it can stop, you take another, then another and so on.

There is silence in the air, nobody talks. The smoke is coming out of every head that has a mouth. Chunks of smoke, in rings, waterfalls, or simple fumes, disappear in the same air, leaving its essence on the breath and fingers of the smoker and yet again an urge have another puff.