Sunday, June 23, 2019

Big Little Things: Episode 2: Thick as Thieves

I had never felt alone here in this big city down South and far away from home until--I want to call it the 'Shit dropped from Heaven' day.

Keeping up reputation, I reached late at the Decathalon store that seemed to be on the other end of the world. You had been waiting there for eons and I arrived carrying a baggage full of guilt after exchanging several calls and messages with you about my whereabouts. Well, that didn't deter me from taking all my time to shop for my first Himalayan trek.

We dragged ourselves out of the place, but unbeknownst, I still had some more trouble to offer you. So, I ran in to check if I had mistakenly bought track pants for males.

Next moment, we found ourselves outside the store with you checking your phone and preparing to make a dash. Although we did exchange some sweets we got from home, we were quick to go our own way soon after.

All hell broke loose when I reached home. I was helpless as I was watched myself get assaulted in front of my home. No one from the PG came out to help me. I called you and informed you about it but you did nothing more than listening to me and saying take care--I am not sure if you really said that.

I overlooked your indifference but dreamed about you leaving me in wilderness as I choked on my own blood. It shook me more than it did in reality. After I narrated my dream, I saw the concern you had for me. You knew when I would sound low, what confused me and even met me to untangle the spindle of problems that I had created.

I could see that you became a somebody from a nobody. I changed my emergency contact details to your number. I looked forward to having conversations with you. Did you realize how it would lift a heavy weight from my chest after a mere 30-minute phone conversation.

I trusted us. We were thick as thieves.





Saturday, June 8, 2019

Big Little Things: Episode 1: Overboard


I have always admired the twinkle in your eyes and the smile on your lips. It has been highly contagious so far. I remember saying that you have sparkling button eyes and forwarded you the picture of a rat with bright, black eyes. You made a face. I assumed that only I thought that your eyes were beautiful.

That day, when I stood before you with an apologetic face, I saw your stiff selfa straight face that no longer held that smile, no longer emanated the brightness of the day and the twinkle of a starry night. I was taken aback by seeing this side of yours and I wondered whether it was really necessary for you to meet me and drop that smile in arrogance or ignoranceI may never know which.

Today, you weren't as stiff but I know you didn't want to meet me. You could have delayed taking your belongings back, but you know how much I was insisting on it. There were taking a lot of space in my cramped room and they just lay there waiting to turn into an excuse for me to see you smile again.

So, I waited for the time to run right, and when you showed up I saw nothing but the same old rigid you. I thought I did see your lips curve for a split-second when I gave you the baby pine cone and the most beautiful piece of pebble I have ever found. When you looked up I could see you wanted to escape. So you offered me the sweet lying in your bag as an immediate return gesture to unburden yourself and rode off.

I turned before I could see you go as I admired the sweet you gave me instead of the smile that I knew you would never flash again.

I think recovery is a slow process. I agree I went overboard with my statements out of anger, but now I feel that you are going overboard with your unapologetic indifference. I will accept that and keep in touch until the time heals us both.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Incessant Wait

Ticking time, traffic
Smoke, sun, fumes, fury
Accelerate, apply brakes
Wait, incessant wait
Work, whine, withdraw, work late
Skip food, fun, fitness
Sleep, well, too late
Social media, meetings, mail
Communication without emotions, so fake
Aim and age, high
Loose touch with self, inanimate
Free, a four-letter word
Slave, a five letter reality
Wither, wear out
Wash you face
Take meds, meditate
Repeat, iterate, hate
Money, more money
Spend, save, waste
Money, mate, fate
Proliferate
Wake up one day
Realise it's too late
Stop what you hate
Wait, incessant wait
Last breath, death, a waste