Why am i here?

Why am I here ?

Sometimes I think where I am? Why did I come into this world? To suffer Agony? Pain? Hardships?  And then to preach and believe in things, whose existence is not determined by any proof? Why a world at all? What is this place? Where there is a limit put to you with count-full breadths and finite time, where you are expected to do good and be good and finally die one day to be known to none but to the mere pages of history. Now and then I ponder upon the thought of my very own existence. From sand I come to be a part of this soil again in some decades. What is my role here? Why did I have to ever live if I am going to meet the inevitable end anyway? The superstitious self in me then arises as if victorious over the scientific fact answering my questions vaguely. 

                                

What I was fed from the beginning of my own time was the presence of the Supreme Soul, which you and I call God, Ishwar, Allah, Bhagwan and see his manifest in myriad ways. There came a point where everything unexplained went into the accounts of this belief to provide an acceptable but not fully satisfying explanation.

As I proceeded back in time, the mythologies fed in my head as the bedtime stories started joining pieces with the history making this puzzle a little less complicated. The land of Kurukshetra, the country of Lanka, the Legendry city of Dwarika, the Mountain of Kailash, the city of Ayodhya- All these dwellings give a shape to the idea very existence of the God. Yet there are missing pieces and innumerable theories to make them just a mere part of a folklore told from an era. When I see it from a distance I see two worlds, one that is logical and the other that is spiritual and here I am, bent highly to the former and seeing the other through the inherited eyes of superstition. Which one is true and which is unreal is never fully understood.

                           

                                        

I am told to join my hands and bow before someone or something that I don’t know. The Holy books claim that one can get to know ‘the God’ by taking up a spiritual path. It is further explained that to merge with the Supreme Spirit one needs to detach himself from the material world. I did not understand much though but then if I ever decide to leave my home to become a Yogi, to know what God is and why I am here, I would definitely end up getting a good scolding from my guardians. Ironically these were the same people who sowed in me the seeds of religious world of Gods and Goddesses.

                            

                                      

So what is the truth even my parents don’t know, neither theirs nor anybody’s, ‘where to look for it?’, that also remains unanswerable. So I finally return my thoughts to something that has got answers, to at least spend this time of few years that I have got as life. To dissolve my hunger and thirst, to survive like any other animal does, to do good, be good and continue the same until death brings down the curtains. To this world I return yet with an inquisition to cross the boundary and see the other side of the same coin.

Top 10 crazy things to do before you die

Top 10 crazy things to do before you die

10 crazy things to do before I breathe my last, 10 deeds of insanity to endeavor before they burn me in hell, 10 memories to make before I turn into ash, 10 wishes to fulfill before I am nothing but dust! A countdown before my finite breadths lose their count- Let me take you for a ride, on to the crazy dreams that linger somewhere waiting to be fulfilled.

My Bucket List:-

10. To be the most famous one!

Want to hear the crowd shout your name at the top of their voices? Want to be the focus of paparazzi? Want the people to run behind you to get your autograph? With every newspaper having your name printed in their copies, your snap being on the cover page of the magazines and countless followers on facebook and twitter, want to be the talk of the town?? Oh Common! who doesn’t?  Becoming famous once before I die and let the world know my existence on this planet, even in death! That is wish number 10 for me!

9. Own a pet tiger

I never got chance to have a pet. Forget a normal dog or cat, a tiger would be great for a beginning I wonder! How much i wished to own a tiger, when i saw one on the Discovery Channel, or the Animal Planet! A royal Bengal tiger strolling along with me and scaring the shit out of my neighbor and his dog! Giving the people around me goose-bumps, with the roars that come from my house, owning a pet tiger is my dream number 9.

8. Make a personal collection of luxury cars and bikes

A collection of luxury cars and bikes! Though I don’t know how to drive one but hey I need to be picked up and dropped in one! A ferrarri in morning , a jaguar in evening, a limousine at the party time and a MV-Agusta to race around. Speed at its best for me!

7. Free all the birds and animals captivated in the pet shops and zoos

The pets that wait all day and all night in the shops, just for you to come and take them home, as if they have no life of their own, to live. The parakeets, macaws, doves whose wings were made to stay aloof the ground are now caged behind those bars where in they barely fit. So this wish would grant me a freedom to free them all, to whisper to them to fly far away and never look back. To see all the roads blocked by the animals released from the zoos, parks and cages to their own forest land would be wish number 7!

 6. Declare an official holiday on my birthday for people to celebrate

Ever wished you wouldn't have to get up on your birthday and go to the office, school and college, rather call your best buddies and party all day without caring? How much you wanted every other stranger you see, to wish you? How much you wanted the world to know that you came into the world this day?! Simple! Declare an official holiday on your special day. To  let 6^th January be a National Holiday and cease the day with my presence for all to celebrate it!

5. A Wish to Fly

Want to be a superman or ironman and glide over the heads of people! To feel the same way when as a bird cutting through the winds, to have a sight of the round and infinitely expanding earth below, to breathe the cold air and drop down straight through the clouds! Sky diving before the end of it all is a must do!

4. To own a rum factory

“15 men on the dead man’s chest, Yo! Ho! Ho! And a bottle of Rum!”,If only you could get an unlimited amount of this beautiful drink and get high whenever you feel like, you better run a Rum factory, before time stops you forever. Wish number 4, To at least have a store!

3.  Make it all a fairy world

Tired of crimes, tired of the nonsense happening around in humanity! Politics and politicians! System and democracy! A name given to those who maintain law rather make law of their own. People killing people over non-materialistic things, blood and cries dripping and echoing in every corner but what if it can be happy ending ever after. A wish to change this world into a fairy tale with a happy ending, people living in peace and contentment, equality for all, love and care sprouting out from everywhere. That’s wish number 3!

 2. Watch the earth and moon from space

One of the most fascinating and only job, where you can get a top view of your home is being an astronaut, where the magnificent blue planet rotates below you and moon literally being your nearest neighbor, with stars shinning brighter than ever and one among them flaming with all might, a wish to be on the international space station is one unique among a million.

p.s -NASA please recruit me!

1.   To have the potential to make above all true

What could be worse, if this bucket list can’t be fulfilled before the end nears in and your heart shuts down, before you could even begin saving up cash and planning upon your bucket list. To have the potential and power to grab all that you wished for and not wait for it to slowly be a mere list on a piece of paper, you need to have money! Billions of it! Wish number 1.

                          ……Good Life and Good luck to all!

From the corner of my eyes

From the corner of my eyes, there passes a world, obscure and mystic

 A little confusion, of what would happen, if I look closer

Or for a little more span

A little fear, dwelling inside me, playing with it, I know would invite trouble

Yet it tingles my curiosity to look beyond that blurred image

Deep and perpetual, that’s all I can say

For once I see, rolling back my eyeballs would be in vain

Such is the strength, that’s felt though unseen

The world beyond the view of my eyes

 Waiting to be witnessed and followed ineluctably

Waiting for me to get drowned, maybe burnt, may be get vanished

It induces a sense of venomous incantation

May be paralyzing, I don’t know

It is just conscience, that prevents me, curbs me may be protects me

 I listen to it, trust it more than anything

And look the other way

My way, my world and away from trouble

That world passes now and then under my eyes
And I betray it, sadly and happily together

Fumes of Folly

It is a pleasure to hear people, telling me, to write more. It has been a real source of encouragement and fun, reaching out to your minds and hearts and winning over them indeed. So I thought upon writing something. This one is a on request from one of my dear friends, who wanted me to deliver a piece of my writing on something that is nothing new, and still has got its hold equally on people of all times. I know you can’t guess it, so let me give you some hint.

The two ‘victory’ fingers, a pair of lips and some spark. I can bet smiles on some faces that got me right.

Yet another hint for others- the taxi rule. Let me be clearer with the 3 puff rule. To those with wise heads who have dedicated worthy songs to it, to those who know how much deadly it can get, who still don’t care if it nears them to death, with every breath they draw through it, who rather find pleasure in hitting themselves right in the heads and finding life in that bit of moment- Yes this article is dedicated to all the cigarette smokers who lovingly call it Sutta or Chirot.

It is a saying that one never buys his own cig at first. There are friends, seniors, big brothers that make the first gurus, to teach the art. Talking about it as an art, lightening a cigarette is itself one as is puffing it. No matter you do it with a gas lighter or electric lighter, the matchstick always comes handy, correct me if I am wrong!

Holding the end of the cigarette butt or the fag end in between your lips, carefully, without wetting it, and letting the dry tobacco leaves catch fire, a sense of style hovers in those hands that hold it, as the leaves burn its way out into the open air.

The warm smoke is drawn in, reaching the dead end of the throat, making its way down, from the lungs into the blood stream. The nicotine, radon, propylene glycol, licorise and some other lesser known compounds all travel through the roller coaster of your blood stream. The best part comes when the ingredients reach out to the kernel i.e. the Brain. A gentle hit that is what people claim to experience and that is where the beauty seems to lie. 

Take it literally, the beauty of sutta, though promises a style statement, a hit in the head, a spin for a split second and a curtain of peace for some time, it disguises all through this time. Behind the circles of smoke, lies an irreversible damage to your lungs. The air filters in your lungs gets covered by something which you see around every day, TAR. Something made to be laid on roads doesn't seem apt upon the very source of Life. The chemicals and chemistry above, all sound lame to the regulars and so does the cancer threat.

 Never mind, you draw the second time, inhaling the smoke, sucking it through the fag end. You pull it in and release, and feel your head spin. Before it can stop, you take another, then another and so on.

There is silence in the air, nobody talks. The smoke is coming out of every head that has a mouth. Chunks of smoke, in rings, waterfalls, or simple fumes, disappear in the same air, leaving its essence on the breath and fingers of the smoker and yet again an urge have another puff.

R.I.P

Today is the night it shuts down      

In the midst of rain it is whitewashed

It stops forever

The smoke from its vessels

Emptied, churned and charred

It lies dead in the chest

Lifeless, spiritless, motionless

Un-linguistic in the beats

The rain washes away all the blood tonight

Drains it somewhere in the shallow pits

Unseen, unheard. Held

Smashed a zillion times

And now tired, hence it lies down

In the coffin for eternity

Last time it gives a cry

A squeak may be

But last time             .....For the last time tonight

To never rise again and regain

            Its strength back

Let it rest, never to be tested again

The Pain is almost gone

It is numb

Guns and Roses to thee

A laugh and a cry contained in the last beat

The Last Beat

Out of nowhere

Insurgent

Tried its best, tried hardest

Out of Impetus

Marred

And now puffs out its last smoke

In the End Evanescent

Dead

Finally to Rest in Peace

EnTanGleD in aN eaSy wAy

This is for the people with short tempers, high egos and average ability of patience and tolerance. You may be around someone some time of the day, and literally saying, with such characteristics, possessed in mass volumes under your skin, it is worthy of appreciation for those some-ones. Not because they bear you but because they overlook your bad side, and see the pearls under the shabby shells. Despite of you being into your usual selves, not showing even a hint of negation in the qualities you possess, you are accepted, appreciated, loved and cared for. If that is something to be highlighted, then it has to be added that the one who belongs to your company is not to be taken for granted in any way, which usually happens in course of time. Also instead of pointing to the dirt on others, look at how much you have smitten into your own.

This is to those dear and loved ones, little do you know that when you speak, you speak to reply not to listen, not to think and then say. It is not a point of accepting mistakes; it’s not a point of mistakes at all!

It is all about allowing yourself and others to blend into each other’s essence, of understanding, to know that the people around you are like you only, neither great nor naive. To absorb the fact that they also have some loopholes which you have to accept as they accept yours.

No one is perfect and nobody likes change, thus it’s all about adjustment, understanding. Ah! But no compromise! K! That doesn't lift the heavy payload over head and heart. The word itself holds some sort of negativity! It works maybe at workplace but not in relations.

If it is true and strong- the bond, then some things need not be explained, scolded or lectured to someone and lead them somewhere else, but to just let go, to give time to the heads to think and reciprocate, to sustain what holds all together, a mutual trust!

After all there has to be bearings to hold the bond. 

            

Mind Feed

Here are some good thoughts I had collected from here and there. The thinkers seem anonymous but what matters most is the message behind them that allured me to make a repository out of them. Glance through them and I am sure you will find one, relating to you one way or the other.

1 Place your hand over your heart. Felt that? That’s called a purpose! You are alive for a reason. Don’t forget it.

                                   

2 When God closes a door, he usually makes sure your fingers are in it.

3 Hating people takes too much energy, I just pretend they are dead!

                                   

4  I don’t know how people can fake whole relationship...I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.

5 Some people you meet in life should come with a warning label.

                           

6  If my heart could speak aloud you would know it beats for none but me.

7 Sometimes it is not so much about the things we say, as it is about the things we don’t, for those who try to listen, silence speaks louder than words
                         
                       

8 One of the best things in life is seeing a smile on a person’s face and knowing that you put it there.

                                     

9 You have to keep believing that what you are hoping for is possible

10 True confidence has no room for jealousy and envy. When you know you are great, you have no reason to hate.

                                

11 Life is weird. One moment you are grooving along, next moment you are standing in rain, watching your life fall apart.

12 If I am sarcastic around you, it’s either because I’m comfortable teasing you or I hate you... Good luck figuring it out.

                                     

13 Don’t lie to people who trust you, don’t trust people who lie to you. Simple as that.

14  Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he’ll tell you the truth.
   
                       

                               

15 There is a time for daring, there is a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

                                 
                                

16 People and shoes both have same virtue...At first we look for good ones... But in the end we choose the ones we feel comfortable with.  

                                    
                               

17 Forgiveness is my gift to you. Moving on is my gift to myself.

18 If you will love someone more than they deserve, expect you’ll be hurt more than you deserve.