Apology

It’s so indifferent sometimes that oblivious of reality, we actually end up hurting our loved ones to such an extent that they never expect. Before you realize, what wrong you did, it has already been done, just because you didn’t think twice before saying or doing it.

 We sometimes take our dear ones  for granted.

     Oh he loves me, i know everything will be fine soon, no need to worry.

No, it’ not what you are thinking, it’s something running at the back of your head. Sometimes people know that they did something wrong, yet they don’t confine to their mistakes, thinking it might hit their ego, to go against their own deeds or dialogues. They may think everything will be back to the norms, but actually people on the receiving side are most of the time, surprised and sad. Sometimes they retort and sometimes they just keep mum.

 Take, for example, our parents. There must have been times when you would be like,

      Oh Mom! Why don’t you understand? Why are you always telling me to do this and that, I know what I have to do! K!

    Dad why you always think that I have done something wrong and not the other person? Why don’t you listen to me?

Mind you! That’s not your low, timid tone. That’s when you shout and yell! Parents on the other hand find it surprising or may be sad, that it’s so disobedient of their children, to be rude and shout back. Guess what is their usual killer dialogue after that??

   Ya you have grown up now, I know you won’t listen. Do whatever you want! I won’t ask you anything from now on.

Strike 1! You are blown! Call it a mini- victory or whatever, but you have this guilt of hurting them a little, don’t you? ! No they are not tricks to bring you back to track, they actually feel bad.

I had a friend of mine, in our circle, who wouldn’t think twice before saying something about us. She would take it as a teasing, as a joke and laugh it away, on the other hand we would look at each other, with blank expressions. Irrespective of her knowing this fact about her or not, we eventually drifted away from her.

Point is not we didn’t value our friendship,  point is that, we realized, she didn’t value us and that she didn’t. We kept mum.

EGO! A small word with a big impact! Needless to say we all have a pinch of it in us. Some have some more. Self respect is what it is mislead by. Not realizing once what wrong they have done, there are people, who continue to prick like an invisible needle. Keeping mum, shouting back, nothing works with them. Even if they realize it, they won’t undo, they redo and reframe self, so that it doesn’t contradict with their own saying. These people are stern with their decisions and thoughts. No matter, if it’s killing them inside, they won’t reciprocate, or may be not until the other stirs them first.

A straight and forward solution – APLOLOGY. Say it, provided you mean it! + Do the talking, explain yourself and tell why you support your point. They will listen, they will contradict, they will thrush back. Be patient, listen to respond not to rebel.

 Nevertheless, what’s wrong in apologizing?  Fearing you are proved wrong and killing your own ego? NO! it’s to be humble, except your fears and mining into yourself to be more constructive and careful next time. To mark your words and deeds, to be at peace with your inner self and with others close to you. That won’t make you a self-surrendering  soul, rather that will bring a level of confidence and maturity to accept your own mistakes on face and mending the loopholes you still posses.

Apology and sustaining it with its true realization brings out the best within yourself and others towards you.

So say it- Sorry Yar! Sorry mom! Sorry papa!.. I did wrong and listen to them, absorb it positively and see how you actually surprise people!