Failure is hard.

Failure is hard.
Constant failure, harder.

You don't know how far you got to go. You don't know how long before a turning point. Sometimes, it's a losing journey. Sometimes, you just find yourself dragging your feet to move forward. Well, that's the only way, is it not? How long can you pursue, how far can you push, you don't know. Every hint of light, looks like you got to the end of the tunnel. And when that illusion breaks so does the spirit in you.

Failure is hard.
Constant failure is harder.

Life might console you for a brief moment. A laugh here or a happiness there. But, does that take away the subtle sense of a never-ending journey in the hindsight? Maybe you ignore it, for a moment or two. But it comes back when no one is looking. It comes back when you are alone. Not with your phone, friends or family. It comes back when you are with 'you'. And it hits hard.

Failure is hard.
Constant failure is harder.

You don't compare yourself. At least not consciously. You pity yourself. You pity the person in you who puts effort, day after day after day, to reach the end of the tunnel. You pity the part of you that encouraged you to move ahead. Your pity the failure of the fighter in you.

Failure is hard.
Constant failure is harder.

For a moment, there is respite, not in thinking that you will get up again, but in being with the failure. In living with its naked truth. You failed. Again. There is no delusion about it, no two interpretations, no lame excuse or confusion about it. You accept entirely that you failed. Your just accept it.

Failure is hard.
Constant failure is harder.

When you learn to sit with it, does it break you? Yes. Does it motivate you? No. The what does it do?  It crushes your hope. It makes you realize that there's nothing more that can happen beyond it. Your fear of failing evaporates. You feel numb and detached from the result. You feel free to do what you want to next. The heavy-mirror of self-expectation breaks. Now that you're at the rock bottom. You have nothing to lose and everything to win.

Failure is hard.
Constant failure? Insignificant.